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“What is True For Me”

a blog for caregivers

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Holiday Eve

"Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." Lao Tzu These photos are this year's Christmas card.  It's all I had the energy for.  Every time I sat down to...

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Pushing The Reset Button, Part 2

This is a continuation of Susan McCurry’s chapter from her book, When A Family Member Has Dementia.  The first part of this chapter showed up in November 11 blog, called, Push The Reset Button. I will continue to break this chapter down into several day’s reading in...

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Levels of Letting Go

  Every holiday I emotionally gear up to bring Mom over to my house.  As the years pass with this disease, holidays have become more and more difficult, for her and for me, and each for different reasons.  Our time together has gone from 2-3 days down to 24...

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Gearing Up For The Holidays

The Residence where Mom lives generously puts on special holiday dinners for the residents and their family members, i.e., Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, July 4th, Easter, Christmas, etc.  They take place the Saturday before the holiday from 11:30 -1:30pm.  They do a...

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Push the Reset Button

I have periodically taken a chapter from Susan McCurry’s book, When A Family Member Has Dementia, and broken it down into several day’s reading in deference to our time. The chapter, ACCEPTING YOURSELF: IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO GET BACK ON TRACK, is too important not...

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Just Say Yes

Yesterday, Mom asked if we could get together for dinner “in the next few days.”  I don’t hesitate anymore and just say, “Yes!”  First of all, of course I’d say yes, but secondly, I say yes because it makes her feel terrific in the moment. The reason this is even a...

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Hidden Faces

It always intrigues me to listen to an interview of a well-known comedian or film star.  A few of my favorites have either had the most challenging childhood or battling something pretty major in their lives in general.  Just like anyone else, there are two paths to...

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Detached Caring, continued…

Today’s offering is a continuation of excerpts from Susan McCurry’s book, When A Family Member Has Dementia. As I've mentioned, I would have benefited greatly from just being aware of even a fraction of one of her chapters. The full details of the book are listed at...

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The Tool of Detached Caring

This is a continuation of an excerpt from Susan McCurry’s book, When A Family Member Has Dementia. As I mentioned, I would have benefited greatly from just being aware of even a fraction of one of her chapters.  I was not. Therefore, I didn’t do so hot in caring for...

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Grab A Tool-Belt

This is an excerpt from one of my favorite go-to books by Susan McCurry.  Had I had these suggestions when I first began caring for Mom, I would have had a lot less tears.  Frankly, I did everything “wrong,” i.e., I argued, debated, tried to reason because “I was...

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Hold Out Your Cup

Someday I will be able to write about hitting rock bottom, just not today.  Let’s just say I was done.  Fini. Kaputski. I wanted to rest.  Sleep.  Be at peace. Fortunately, I had a handful of persuasive friends who often pulled me up and out of the abyss of my wanting...

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One Simple Practice

A friend shared a phrase with me once that has kept me from becoming overwhelmed.  It is simply, “Just focus on one thing.  One thing.”  When that feeling of overwhelm starts creeping into my consciousness, I literally say out loud, “One thing, Vic. Just one thing.” ...

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Overload

I recently used this headline “quote” in another blog, but I am repeating it again today because I mentally and physically crashed last Thursday precisely because I was referencing the past.  I didn't foresee, or grasp, the severity of the heavy heartedness I'd go...

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I Forgive You Forget A Caregiver's Resource

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